I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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