too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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