My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
