I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
