Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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