I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
