oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She bit a glass in half.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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