FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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