so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
