so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
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Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
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I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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