so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
then he tried to convert me to islam
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
