How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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