I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize