Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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