# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
