Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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