If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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