hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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