I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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