my soul wont recognize me after tonight
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
do nipples grow back?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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