he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
