His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
