there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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