ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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