I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
