Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Acid is not a monday night drug
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i now understand why vodka
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
