Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
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Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
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God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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