we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She bit a glass in half.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
