dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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