and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
