dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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