I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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