I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
