Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
