As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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