bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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