well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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