You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize