I got chris browned last night
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
