I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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