This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
