I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking