just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
