I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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