Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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