I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
