No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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