just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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