sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
