i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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