also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize