if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
