my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
