Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nutella sex= disaster
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
