I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
