Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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